For a long time, I found myself looking at other people’s lives and wondering why I was not earning or spending like them. Every time I opened social media, I saw people going on trips, buying new cars, trying new restaurants, or even getting their daily coffee fix from fancy cafes. It made me feel like I was not doing enough, even though I was trying my best to save and live within my means.
If you’ve ever felt that way too, you’re not alone. Comparing yourself to others financially is something many people struggle with, especially in the age of social media, where we often see only the highlights and rarely the challenges. Over time, I learned to stop comparing myself financially with others and started feeling more content with my own progress. Here’s how I did it and what you can try too.
1. I Realized That Everyone Has a Different Financial Story
The first thing that helped me was accepting that everyone’s financial journey is different. Some people might earn more, some might have family support, and others might be paying off big debts that we do not see online. This is especially true in many Filipino households, where even if someone earns a good income, they often have to support parents, siblings, or relatives.
I used to think that everyone my age was doing better than me until I started talking openly about money with trusted friends. I learned that even those who looked successful online were also struggling in private.
According to a study from the University of Cambridge, social comparison is a natural human behavior, but when it becomes constant, it can lead to stress and lower self-esteem. Understanding this helped me stop taking what I saw at face value.
2. I Started Tracking My Own Progress
Instead of comparing my finances to others, I started comparing myself to my past self. I often remind myself that I once earned only around $500 a month in the Philippines, and now I make about five times that amount. Seeing how far I’ve come motivates me more than any online post ever could.
Tracking my expenses and savings each month helped me see my progress clearly. Building an emergency fund, staying debt-free, and learning to budget better made me proud of how far I’ve come. If you haven’t tried this yet, use a simple spreadsheet or apps like Notion, Mint, or Google Sheets to track your growth.
3. I Limited My Social Media Scrolling
Most of my comparison triggers came from social media. Whenever I saw my batchmates or friends posting their achievements on Instagram or Facebook stories—like traveling, buying new gadgets, or getting a car—I couldn’t help but feel behind. Eventually, I chose to stop viewing their stories to avoid that spiral of comparison.
I also stopped following lifestyle pages that made me feel pressured and instead joined online communities that actually inspired me. I found myself spending more time on finance-related subreddits on Reddit, where people share their real-life experiences anonymously. Even when they talk about their financial wins, it doesn’t make me feel bad because the conversations are more honest and relatable. Reading about both the struggles and successes of others helped me see that everyone has a different timeline.
4. I Focused on My Own Values
I learned to define what financial success means to me. For some, it’s luxury shopping or traveling often. For me, it’s paying bills on time, saving a little, and enjoying small things like watching anime or having coffee with my pets. I also see success in being able to buy comfort and convenience when needed. Focusing on what truly matters helps me stay content with what I have.
5. I Learned to Appreciate Delayed Gratification
I used to feel bad when others bought things I couldn’t afford yet. But saving up for something taught me patience and made each purchase more rewarding. Now, when I’m tempted to buy just because others have it, I remind myself that I’m working toward financial stability and peace of mind.
To practice this, I add items to my cart but wait a few days before checking out. Most of the time, I realize I don’t really need them. It’s a small habit that helps me spend more mindfully.
6. I Talked to Myself Kindly
It may sound small, but changing how I talk to myself helped a lot. Instead of saying “I’m behind,” I started saying “I’m doing my best.” Positive self-talk keeps me motivated and patient with my goals.
I also learned to pause whenever I start comparing myself to someone else. I ask myself if I would really trade places with that person. Most of the time, the answer is no. It reminds me to be proud of my own path and how far I’ve come.
But Why Do We Compare Ourselves to Others?
Psychologists say that comparison often comes from insecurity or the fear of being left behind. People want to feel like they are keeping up because it gives a sense of belonging. But once it sinks in that everyone has a different journey, it becomes easier to stop chasing what others have and focus on personal growth instead.
Final Thoughts
Learning to stop comparing my finances with others did not happen overnight. It took practice and self-awareness. What helped me most was focusing on my own journey, defining what financial success meant for me, and being kind to myself in the process.
It is perfectly okay to want more for yourself, but never at the cost of your peace of mind. Remember that progress is personal, and your timeline is yours alone. If you are trying your best, that already counts as a win.